Understanding. Support. Peace. Hope.
A place for people experiencing estrangement or cut off from their family to find support, hopefully peace, and some understanding.
SURVEYS!
UPDATE
I am also interested in the family patterns of estrangement. I have created a very short set of questions. Even if you have previously taken the main survey, I would appreciate your additional contribution to further our understanding of this issue. Please see the link below.
Take the Parents Estranged from Adult Children survey now.
Take the Adult Children Estranged from Parents survey now.
Take the Family Patterns Survey now
Survey results as of 11/12/2009
Parent Survey Summary Report 11-12.pdf
Adult Children Survey Summary Report 11-12.pdf
PRIVACY NOTE
Any words written or original videos posted may NOT be duplicated without written consent.
The Material on this site is not available for research ideas, books, TV Casting, etc.
Any questions concerning the use of this site.. please contact site creator.
Books
by Roberta M. Gilbert
The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement
Healing From Family Rifts : Ten Steps to Finding Peace After Being Cut Off From a Family Member
When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along
I Thought We'd Never Speak Again: The Road from Estrangement to Reconciliation
Family Estrangements: How They Begin, How to Mend Them, How to Cope with Them
Letting Go of Our Adult Children: When What We Do Is Never Enough
FRAGMENTED FAMILIES: Patterns of Estrangement and Reconciliation
Walking on Eggshells: Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents, by Jane Isay
For Mothers of Difficult Daughters; How to Enrich and Repair the Relationship in Adulthood, by Charney Herst
When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends: Resolving the Most Complicated Relationship of Your Life, by Victoria Secunda
I'm OK, You're My Parents : How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works, by Dale Atkins
Making Peace with Your Parents, by Harold Bloomfield MD
Making Peace With Your Adult Children: A Guide to Family Healing, by Shauna Smith
Forgive Your Parents, Heal Yourself: How Understanding Your Painful Family Legacy Can Transform Your Life
Everything Has Two Handles: The Stoic's Guide to the Art of Living
Triangles: Bowen Family Systems Theory Perspectives
Articles and Links
Rev David Burns, Trinity Presbyterian Church, Atlanta, GA
The Feuds Tearing Our Families Apart
Therapists Find Last Outpost of Adolescence in Adulthood, NY Times, 1988
Have We Become a Nation of Narcissists? by Dr Ron Pies, MD
College students think they're so special
Study finds alarming rise in narcissism, self-centeredness in ‘Generation Me’
OverIndulging our Kids is a Hazard, Not a Gift
Take the Narcissistic Personality Inventory
Me, me, me! America’s ‘Narcissism Epidemic’
Authors say long-term consequences are destructive to society
The Price of Affluence
New research shows that privileged teens may be more self-centered—and depressed—than ever before. By Amy Novotney
The High Cost of Avoiding Difficult Conversations
Lost Graces: Duty Rev. Susan L. Van Dreser “We need to restore the full meaning of that old word. It is the other side of rights.”
~Pearl S. Buck
Many boomers may face old age alone
By: Karen S. Peterson
Why are families growing apart?
Excerpted from Family Estrangements: How They Begin, How to Mend Them, How to Cope with Them By Barbara LeBey
Grow up, twenty-somethings. You can go home again
"I Haven't Spoken to My Parents In 8 Years" NYTimes Article by Lawrence Kutner
BOWEN THEORY
Treat your children, and your parents well USA Today
Therapists Find Last Outpost Of Adolescence In Adulthood
Latest Activity
Forum
Looking for other parents who have initiated the estrangement 18 Replies
Started by Gayle in Parents Estranged from Children. Last reply by debby 4 hours ago.
Texas 3 Replies
Started by Lost2 in Parents Estranged from Children. Last reply by Gayle 1 day ago.
Our crime is we helped too much? 15 Replies
Started by Melanie Vorhees in Parents Estranged from Children. Last reply by Melanie Vorhees 1 day ago.
I don't want contact with my parents but I dont want them to think they are to blame 97 Replies
Started by this_one in Adult Children Estranged from Parents. Last reply by this_one 1 day ago.
New Thread on EMotional Abuse 13 Replies
Started by Lost2 in Parents Estranged from Children. Last reply by Nancy 1 day ago.
Blog Posts
Condolences To Becky
Posted by Gale on February 8, 2010 at 12:45pm — 5 Comments
Letting go
Was read out at my church and struck a chord.
To let go doesn't mean to stop caring;
It means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off...
It's the realization that I can't control another...
To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try and change or blame another,
I can onl
Posted by TRACY on February 7, 2010 at 4:04pm — 7 Comments
I would kill to have a mother
But I can't have one. Yesterday, my back was broken by the straw and I have been crying for almost a full 24 hours. I called into work, took the children to day care, and cried and searchd the internet. On a positive note, i ate a half gallone of ice cream and didn't feel bad about it. *weak smile*
The straw that broke my back?
My brother,with whom I also estranged myself. I picked him up from under a bridge, and brougth him to my home. Paid his court fines so he
… ContinuePosted by Sarah York on February 5, 2010 at 9:58pm — 12 Comments
Ed contacted my son
Posted by Cheli on February 4, 2010 at 9:30am — 16 Comments
The Lost Has Been Found
Posted by Gale on February 1, 2010 at 1:00pm — 10 Comments
Notes
Mission Statement
This site does not condone rudeness to anyone.
You may or may not agree, but I am interesting in promoting support, understanding of our situations, and hopefully this will help some heal. I realize that some need more time than others to progress, but with so many people on the site, in order to be effective, I believe that the best use of this site .... recognizing the selflessness of those who are willing to spend the time to read and respond... that the following is appropriate… Continue
Created by Lost2 Nov 6, 2009 at 7:28pm. Last updated by Lost2 Nov. 6, 2009.
Disclaimer
| EstrangedStories Full Disclaimer 1. EstrangedStories.ning.com does not provide professional psychiatric or psychological counseling, advice or services . If you need therapy, professional consultation, or psychiatric consultation, we recommend you consult with a licensed mental health professional in your area. Th |
Created by Lost2 Oct 10, 2009 at 3:23pm. Last updated by Lost2 Oct. 10, 2009.
GUIDELINES AND RULES FOR USE OF SITE
Following are some general guidelines for the estrangedstories.ning.com community. We don't intend to censor messages based on the opinions expressed within posts, but we will enforce the policies outlined here on profiles, discussions and forums.
We reserve the right to remove, modify or move posts at our discretion and without explanation. Please contact us if you do not understand any of the rules, guidelines or policies outlined below. Removal of your profile (Banned Member) is a… Continue
Created by Lost2 Apr 18, 2009 at 5:29pm. Last updated by Lost2 Apr. 22, 2009.
QUOTES TO REMEMBER
"The better you feel, the better chance you have of a life wihout her and actually the better chance you have of a life with her."
"Whether you think you can or think you can't, either way you are right" - Henry Ford
Even if you're on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there. - Will Rogers
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that is why it is called the present.
Our Mantra! From Tracy...
To let go doesn't mean to stop caring;
It means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off...
It's the realization that I can't control another...
To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try and change or blame another,
I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective,
It is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.
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